Life Goes On !

Congrats to P and O of Married Exploits on the birth of their Daughter. Warm and loving thoughts headed their way.

It has been a busy summer. Guests have come and gone. Sex is better and more consistent with hubby. He is now taking L'arginine every day. He likes to take a higher dosage than I am comfortable with being safe. When he does use the cialas it is more effective and longer lasting in its effect for repeat performance. However, when we can pull off a quicky without the cialas it is a welcome change and saves money.

We are hoping for a weekend away soon to play and have great sex without interruptions from the kids at the door.

I have spent more of my free time this summer helping different friends in need and have not spent it on line. I will only be writing from time to time from now on.

Take care and have a great holiday weekend!
Kisses!

From Phone sex to Life Coaching

It hit me yesterday after hanging up with a friend on a phone call how the relationship has evolved. A few years ago we were friends with benefits and had started to burn the candle and the cell phone minutes in a lot of erotic and sexual talk since we live a good distance apart. We occasionally see each other but our separations can be over a year or two. Over the years , things have cooled as my marriage has sparked again and he has other relationships. I have no sexual desire for him anymore but we are close friends.

Now, I find myself in the role of life and business coach. Going from being the other woman to being his current Love's advocate at times is an interesting switch of roles. His life is a tidal wave worthy of its own soap opera. His current love has days she needs space and one those days he gets antsy. I have come to realize how emotionally immature he is and how despite his being a "giver". He really is very emotionally needy requiring much validation. So when she needs her space I am the voice of reason and patience.

She knows I exist but has no idea the depth of the friendship. She also has a distance relationship which is FWB. When he gets jealous of the other guy. I again step in with what are you jealous about. Let her have her time with him and stop with the jealousy. But I understand her need for space and time to emotionally recharge. He cannot fathom how much he can drain someone.

The tough thing to teach right now is that he needs to learn to like living alone. He needs to be comfortable in his aloneness. He has left an emotionally abusive marriage behind. However, the scars are deep. She and I have both told him he is not ready for a new permanent relationship. She told him he needs to get used to life alone and grow from it. He hated today hearing the same from me. He needs to learn to walk this journey alone. Not every night alone but enough to grow emotionally and be much more independent. He perceives mixed messages when she says how much she loves him but needs to go home for time alone. I see where she loves him enough to let go long enough for him to grow.

He heard from me that he needs to channel his sexual energy into his business. Then, when alot of other stuff ,that has to come to pass is finished he will be free to enjoy time with her or someone else.

We shall see if he does what he really needs to do. There is a time to talk and a time to take action and move on with your life. I just try to add a word of wisdom here and there to help him through whatever choice he makes. Just sometimes when I think of the past , it amazes me how the relationship has changed.

Sugasm #164

Thanks to all who voted for my blog post. Kisses!

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #165? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks

Confessional: Breaking the Girl

“And that’s why I’ll love it, that’s what will fuel me to dig deeper.”

Does Art imitate Life or Life Art?

“We were experimental and conventional and some times both in the same round of sex. ”

It burns…

“And this is no sweet kissing”

Mr. Sugasm Himself

A Porn Customer Protests

Sugasm Editor

Fetish Fridays: Teabagging

Editor’s Choice

Light Me Up Right

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm

(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above within a week. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)

Sex News, Reviews, and Interviews

Champagne Giveaway: Lesbian Hospital 2 from Girlfriends Films

O’my Caramel Lubricant

Sex Advice

Advice: I Can’t Cum in There

Delayed Ejaculation - The Flip Side of Premature Ejaculation

Gettin’ Busy Goin’ Green

How to Get the Best Orgasm

BDSM & Fetish

Annie Wersching: I’d Beat

Cousins in pigtails

Get painfull paddle over the table

Out of the Past, Toward the Future

The Slit Dream

Submission and Orgasms

Sex Humor

Question Time!

Singing disco and squealing with (good) pain

Erotic Writing and Experiences

The Canvas

Diary of a Futa - Marny’s Journal

Fairy Time

The Games We Play

I Love His Cock

Kiev kink

Love letter to a memory.

Ms. Robinson

My slutty little girl.

The Overnight. Finale (Dildos)

Perks of the Job

Silence

Three

A Three Way with Adonis

Sex & Politics

The FatGirl Pervert Rants.

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships

Brothers… and Sisters

For The Single Male

My Little Secrets or Things I Don’t Tell the Boys

A quick note on pets.

She Got-I Got

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio

Angel in the midst

Croatia Football Babe - Body Painting

Lysa is au natural

New Cuckold MP3

Pure Pleasure

Vulnerable HNT

Wild animal set free

Does Art imitate Life or Life Art?

This weekend hubby and I spent the night enjoying each other and the spark that we have reignited between us. We had to travel for a while to get to a town that is special in many ways to both of us. We celebrated a decision we both made decades ago and how our lives had changed.

We celebrated the change in our sex life from a few years ago. We may no longer enjoy the bodies of our youth but we are more comfortable in our own skin and know better how to use it for our pleasure. We have educated ourselves and have discovered new ways to pleasure each other.

We are more open sexually and between us have decided that nothing is right or wrong unless it hurts beyond what the person finds pleasurable. Neither of us are pain sluts. However, we both understand that some pain can become pleasure; at other times, it is just pain that requires a shift in positions.

We were experimental and conventional and some times both in the same round of sex. My husband commented on all the positions and types of sex we now enjoy. We do not hestistate to use toys, lubes, and other sexual aids as needed or desired. The orgasms were plentiful and many. We have learned to pace our selves. I have found that if he is tired his cock does not get as hard. Exhaustion will lead to a failure of the meds to assist with the erection. So I give him time to sleep and rest in between play times that require exertion. Alcohol moderation and eating lite have been lessons learned from experience. If a position or sex move did not provide as much pleasure as we desired we moved on to the next. In the past one of us would get angry or frustrated when something went wrong or did not result in the desired pleasure now we just keep trying other stuff till we get there. We practice sex and hygiene in a way that safe guards our health learning the hard way that it is not worth the orgasm if you spend the next week sick with a UTI or E Coli intestinal infection. I make sure we have plenty , wipes, hand sanitizer, gloves, condoms, and toy cleaner in our toy chest ( a tool bag that looks like a handbag with interior pockets for bottles of lube, massage oil, body paint, essential oils, etc.) before we leave.

We planned as part our celebration to go to a art museum and enjoy a beautiful park in which surrounds it. It was an unexpected surprise to find on a morning that found me bound in Japanese rope around my breasts and torso , to see a sculpture in one of the exhibits also bound in ropes around her breasts and torso. The sculpture "Venus Restored" was done by Man Ray 1936/1971 (pictured above). There were photos and paintings in the exhibition by many surreal artists some of them illustrating creatively the positions we were in just a couple hours before. Some were positions I hope to never be in and a few were quite extreme. I seem to appreciate the exhibit more than hubby who is less abstract. His comment to me was that men have been talking women out of their clothes for centuries to get the erotic thrill of posing them with art being the excuse. I beg to differ and would have argued. But he was the one that suggested we travel and visit this museum. I was not going to get mad at his comment. I just smiled and went into his arms discreetly kissed and squeezed his cock in a way that others did not notice. He was more appreciative of the art as artistic work in other areas of the building. I was disappointed that the paintings I went to see were on loan to another museum and not available for viewing. However, I found the above collection of "Desire" very interesting. The historical notations of the experiment with love, eroticism, fetish, magic, photography, painting, and sculpture by artists dating back to the 1920's and 1930's to be very enlightening. I do not remember this art being covered in my art history class. The park was wonderful and beautiful.

We had a very romantic day and enjoyed each other more later . It has been an erotic, orgasmic, and romantic weekend. We enjoyed it so much we are now going to plan more such weekend...mmmm... Why celebrate on only one weekend?????

Sometimes it is tough to blog

A month or so ago I posted we have a winner. It is true that hubby's ED has been helped by Cialas. Unlike the other meds there has been no side effects. The best part is that it has not been a one and done med. Hours later he can still get it up if we desire. In the meantime, my two FWB have found others friends that live closer. While we are still emotionally close and help each other through some life situations the sex side of the relationships have fallen to the wayside. I support the other relationships and do provide advise when asked to assist those relationship. One of my friends can be over needy and a little clingy so when his new significant other complains and he comes running to me I support her.

But family stuff and work does not make great sex blog postings. My hubby and I are managing some sex play when I am in town almost every day several times a day. When the kids are not looking there are quick feels, sucks and exposure of my breasts in the kitchen and almost everywhere in the house. Eye gazing and other bonding affection that we used to not make time for happens every day. It is easier to write from the emotion of angst than to write feeling satisfied in more ways than you could imagine 2 years ago with your husband. He is more confident and willing to experiment in bed. We have recently played with toys I bought over a year ago that he did not want to touch and have anything to do with it.


The journey has been interesting. However, at the moment except for a few FWB's I have really no desire to play with others. I am enjoying spicing up my marriage and watching him grow into the lover I always hoped he would be. I will still blog from time to time . I want to encourage those that struggle with ED and other medical issues to work with your doctors and be honest about the struggles. The doctor we have been working with said that had we brought this up years ago. He would have helped us find some answers a while ago. It has taken more than just finding the right ED medication. There have been other medications and conditions that have been addressed. There has been communication and sex education. There have been sex toys and devices to make sex less painful employed. However, all the work has been worth it. Is everything bliss every day? NO, he still struggles in some areas and so do I . But we have a lot more patience and tools and fun during the make up . We are also finding less to argue about and more to enjoy. I may not be writing as often but I am having better sex but find it hard sometimes to write about it.

I wish all those that are struggling hope and success. Sweet orgasmic bliss to all of you.

Sugasm #158

February 6th, 2009 by Vixen | Last modified: February 6th, 2009

15 comments

HNT courtesy of Secrets of a Blue-Eyed Vixen.

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #159? Submit a link to your best post of the week by emailing me directly at radicalvixenatgmaildotcom Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks

Sealing the Deal

“A hand reached down and grabbed my chin firmly, pulling it up to get a look at my face.”

Wait for me on your knees.

“She’s not scared or wincing but open and accepting, drinking in the sensation.”

What DO Women Want?

“This cultural context also means that what research describes might not be how things actually are, but how the current culture is shaping them to be.”

Sugasm Editor

Sex Work And Honesty: Political Opinions

Editor’s Choice

Like Rube Goldberg

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above within a week. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)

Erotic Writing and Experiences

‘Just Mates’ - a short story

The Mile High Club…Almost

Misunderstanding. Confession #216

Monday’s Passion

OMG, You are Such a Flirt!

Real Live Sex

Shopgirl

Temporary Insanity

Yours

Sex Advice

5 Advanced Anal Sex Techniques

5 Sexy Gifts for Valentine’s Day

CurvaceousDee’s Love of Long Hair on Guys

Love Machine (Sex Machine) Review

Safety For Men Who Love Toys

This Sex Is Not Being Televised

BDSM & Fetish

Abduction + Rape Play

Blueprint

The Domme Experiment

Greedy slut

Origins, Part II: Caught.

Sex-kitten, restrained and purring.

Vanilla boy

Western fantasy - part 8 (the revelation)

What you do for me

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio

Katsumi with glass dildo

Love me tender…or else

Pearls and lace

Sex News, Reviews, & Interviews

10 for 2… Or More! Top Ten Sex Toys For Couples

Another reason to dislike New Labour (without mentioning Jacqui Smith)

My Dirty Monday: Fetish Fantasy Inflatable Position Master

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships

Bareback and Breeding

The Blow Job

His fingers, the tip of my pinkie

Sex in SF

Snuggles and Sex

Snuggles and Sex

It is cold and snowy outside. So how do you stay warm? Get naked and under the covers for some body heat. Last night was a sexy warm night under the covers. Winter snuggles and sex through the night is a great way to stay warm. Time to go back to bed...mmmmm

Sugasm #157

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #158? Submit a link to your best post of the week by emailing me directly at radicalvixenatgmaildotcom Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks

A 2009 Wish For Smut Writers

“Sex bloggers are on the cusp of what I see as being a new kind of sexual revolution.”

Q&A with Domina Doll

“I enjoy teaching others how to explore that aspect of themselves.”

Overtaken

“He kissed the side of my neck, sweeping my long hair out of the way, working his mouth across the side of my neck to press little bites along my collarbone.”

Sugasm Editor

Sex Work And Honesty: When The Truth Hurts

Editor’s Choice

Dictation with Davis

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above within a week. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)

Sex News, Reviews, & Interviews

Four Seasons Studded And Ribbed Condoms Review

Sari Stripping

Taking action

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships

Autobiography of a Masturbator: Porn O’Graphicus, Part 6

Banging on the Bongs

Horror Vacui

How NOT to Talk About Size and Sexuality

Lessons I’ve Learned (so you don’t have to )

The Recruiting Process

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio

Ariel (errotica archives)

da Deflowered HNT

Maria Ford Ripped Open Revealing Breasts in Passion Cove

Meggan Mallone - All Tied Up

BDSM & Fetish

20 Macaroons

Forced bisexuality revisited part 2

KSL Kontest Winner for December

Leaving The Ramrod

My First Cell Popping

Poly Mono Saturated Thoughts

A year of lustful quality

Sex Advice

Anal Sex Precautions

Ask Miss Bliss - My Wife Wants a Threesome With Two Guys

Dear Em & Lo: Help, I Can’t Orgasm with My Boyfriend!

Erotic Writing and Experiences

All woman

And With Your Eyes

Close

Dick Meets Jane…Again

Fire and Ice

If you come to a fork in the road, take it

Last Chance

Middle School Fantasy

A Quick Fuck in a Shadowed Corner

She Walks in Beauty, Chapter 2

Stripper Academy: Visiting Professor

The Summer of Roses

Weasel Journal

The Workout Part One

Your Gorgeous Polish Girlfriend Keeps Calling You Sweetie in Public

Anal Sex Precautions

"Shared Cindy" had a recent post on anal sex. See my blog roll for the link. Posting links in my blog does not work well . I don't know if it is the template or why they don't seem to work. Mike was honest about the mess that unplanned anal sex can create. It is great that him, Joe, and the girls now prepare for their fun anal times. They make it playful and enjoyable.

My husband and I enjoy anal play at times and do not always plan it. We have found the following items to be very helpful for hygienic play regardless whether anal or not. We keep gloves, hand sanitizer, wet wipes, toy cleaner, condoms, dental dams and lube at the bedside. When we know there is going to be anal play . We will use an enema to prepare. I prefer to play at hotels where we have a private full bathroom. At home, we do not have that luxury and have to be very discrete. I have been hospitalized in the past due to an e coli infection. So I have a healthy respect for the need to be hygienic. It is why I am not much into rimming. The fantasy for me is erotic; the consequences not so nice in reality.

Anal play can involve more that just penetration of the penis in the rectum. We use it also as a form of prostate health treatment. My husbands use of the Aneros is good for his prostate. Sometimes he inserts it and sometimes I do it as part of our play. The Aneros works sometimes when the medication does not in creating an erection hard enough for sexual intercourse. Some people enjoy rimming. Others like the massaging of the inner rectum area. I like inserting my anal toys and feeling them on the back side of my vagina. I usually cover my toys with condoms during anal play to make clean up faster and the play more hygienic. The sex blog pages are filled with anal play ideas. There are many places to buy a variety of anal play toys. Just make sure your toy has a base or a handle designed for anal play so you can remove it. An emergency room visit for a toy up the rectum is no ones idea of a fun evening.

The important part of anal play is make sure both partners are comfortable with it. No one should ever force a toy or a body part into the rectum of someone who does not want it. It may make a good erotic story on the BDSM pages but in reality it is not good for the receiving persons body to have an object forced in it. A willing party will relax and the sphincter muscles can adjust. Someone under force will tighten and the muscle tissues can tear and damage to the rectal area can occur.

It is always better to play safe and enjoy it. Being sick afterward is not a good ending to orgasmic play.

I am a dreamer, thriller, Junkie Monkey, and Thoughtful Personality

Some of you may disagree but others will say what's new??? What's yours?