An unexpected sexy anniversary

This morning, as my feet were on his shoulders, my hips in the air, his cock, pounding my pussy with a force and hardness that still rarely happens it hit me. How amazing! Just a short couple of years ago, I was in a car wreck that caused spinal and nerve damage that made this position an impossibility for over a year. The platonic months that followed made such sex a hopeless dream. Sex was incredibly painful in the muscle and joints for months. My sex organs were numb and even the nerves to my bladder were impacted. Even now, some positions are off limits for me. Some, I can do with special supports and sexual aids. The proposed operation scares me and friends who have had it are still not well and whine about pain (with good reason) all the time. So I have been trying another approach. This morning was an incredibly sexy orgasmic payoff...mmmmm

It has been a fight and recovery has been an effort. The insurance company holds out payment every once and while on my unconventional recovery plan. But after more documentation of progress they usually pay. They don't like paying for the massage treatments that has kept the muscle spasms from bed ridding me. I refuse to be a prisoner in my body like my late mother was at the end of her life. I no longer take handfuls of medication to get through the day. I see my chiropractor less. When I do go he gets more movement and the treatment is more effective. I use my inversion table and work out at a local gym being very careful to afford machines that put too much pressure in the wrong areas of my spine. I have lost weight with more to go. I do energy work, some yoga and Pilate's being very careful. My kegelmaster, magic wand ( Copy of Mr. Hitachi), and my crystal honey dipper wand that worked together to help restore my pelvic nerves (retrain my pleasure zones) and muscles were not billable to the insurance company and neither was the sex sling or special pillows for support in erotic positions. ( Now you know how much I really could use a Tantra chair and why. Please Santa!) I have studied Tantra and explored other sexual adventures. I have researched sex on the web extensively. But my sexuality is worth it. A part of me was dying and it hurt so bad. I had discovered the hard way in high school and my early twenties that suicide was not painless. So I quickly eliminated that option despite my desperation to end the pain. It was so much worse, than I wanted to admit at the time. I was putting on a strong face to the world. Getting kudo's at work and elsewhere for my recovery. Little did they know my pain...

My husband and I had rekindled our marriage before the accident. The accident had killed that spark and now my body was foreign to both of us. What had given me pleasure before caused pain and what was painful brought pleasure. He was hurt and confused. His low self esteem which requires my "eggshell alert" attention especially during sexual discussions of what each of us needs was devastated. He felt helpless to change anything. I still took care of his needs and he loved his orgasms . But mine needs were brewing in a pot of angry neglected resentful stew. I was angry with my body, with hubby's helplessness, his lack of interest in learning new ways to assist me with my pleasure, with the guy who failed to slow down and hit me, over losing a vehicle that I loved and spent way to much time in, with my mind (my vision loss which is improving ) which was still feeling effects of a brain contusions despite the doctors not agreeing between themselves on the diagnosis. The medical establishment can disagree with each other all they want. I know it was a traumatic brain injury. It was now up to me to put this train wreck back on the tracks and start moving forward..

Finally, I had a talk with a doctor that sees us both occasionally on the sex subject. His recommendations save our marriage and my sexuality. " There are adult toys, exercisers, and sex aids that can help you " Go visit one of these stores and you will find some of the stuff you need and more. Check out the Internet. Its OK to explore your sexuality in your marriage and to do whatever brings pleasure to both of you. So don't be embarrassed. ( I was for a long time) In the meantime, have hubby make an appointment . I will need to see him again before calling something in for him but there is help for at least part of his issues.
It took at least two months for hubby to get his meds. Just in time for Father's Day ... It would be a day neither of us will forget.. the day of reckoning had come............